You must log in or # to comment.
They say romance is dead in 2026
This can’t be real.
wha-
wha.
– Frost
He’s the one for sure
Dating apps are designed to keep you single forever.
I can’t imagine ever using one.
If you talk on them like Aaron, then yes.
New town, made more friends in person, and have gotten laid more times, with people I met out and about.
But I’ve also made a couple of friends and gotten laid a few times from apps. Worth the $x a month, it’s less than one ticket to a good party or an evening’s worth of drinks at karaoke, and pays off at a similar rate per dollar, just more slowly.
(Unless you’re just looking for mediocre fumbling with someone who only cares about getting their dick off, then apps got ya)
Sometimes I wish I had a legit friend that I would actually like to fuck. That would be…something.
Unfortunately, none of them I’d like in that way.
You can still get lucky. I met my wife on Okcupid, but there was a ton of disappointment before then.
How long ago? Before Match Group decided to make all of their products the same, OKC used to have an amazing algorithm that matched based on quiz answers. At some point, they scrapped all of that and turned it into another Tinder where quiz answers were deemphasized and swiping based on first profile picture is the main interaction method. All of their dating apps now use the same algorithm, which as many people have said, is tuned to keep you using the platform as long as possible, not provide you with high quality matches.
My cousin met his wife on tinder, he seems to regret that these days tho
It’s too late to swipe left.
So you’d think, but that boy ain’t never been too smart
It’s designed to mismatch you, but does the right thing on accident.
But right now, I’d rather not. If someone were to say, assassinate Peter Thiel, then they can just put me on a leash and take me home, do whatever the fuck they want with me xD
Otherwise, I’d rather refrain both because of poor general health, and trust issues.
It is 100% meant to mismatch you to keep you on the app to make money. Start asking people who met people on apps and you quickly notice a pattern. The person they are with was not like any of the other people it matches you with. It’s not that hard to match people. They are betting that two people won’t compare their apps after they get together. I have watched three couples in the same room compare their apps with each other, with all three realizing it only works by mistake.
My wife and I actually matched on 3 different sites, but things have definitely enshitified since.
That is great! That is what they are supposed to do.
The best part is she wasn’t even looking for a relationship, but we’re basically the same person so things just clicked.
So the app succeeded catastrophically. Nice!
Yeah Aaron can hang
Relevant Oatmeal
I don’t see how that’s too relevant. The comic isn’t about having kids per se. It’s about just giving up kids you’ve already had, which is quite different.
I think they meant adjacent instead of relevant.
I didn’t think it was possible to be denser than a neutron star but here we are…
Quark Star!
Bro could at least invite her for dinner before making such … interesting demands.
He’s just trying to avoid paying for a baby sitter when he asks her out.
So are we supposed to communicate honestly or not!?
Women want honesty until they’re asked to put their kids up for adoption. Smh
It’s like, I’m trying to meet you halfway over here, but you’ve gotta work with me a little!
Listen my dude it’s a two way street. You look decent so what about I drop off one kid at the fire station and we go from there? I’m sure you’ll get to love little Timmy.
Great, I know the perfect year-round boarding school.
You seem like you’d be a genuine arsehole in real life. (Just being honest.)
Woosh
OMG yes!!! I’ve already dropped them off at the fire station. When can you come over??? 🥰
proceeds to kneecap the guy and let’s her kids taking batting practiced with his balls
Call me old fashioned but I don’t think kids should be playing with the genitals of adults
I don’t know if I’d describe hitting a guy in the nuts with a baseball bat “playing with genitals”
depends if he likes it or no i guess…
CBT exists… :|
Cognitive behavioral therapy, right?
… Right?
Back on Reddit, I once saw a lengthy debate about whether this or what you meant should be the default assumption when seeing that acronym. I don’t think either participant left satisfied, which I suppose was appropriate.
Cranial Brain Thinking
Heh. Context matters though. I honestly didn’t even know Cognitive Behavioral Therapy shared that acronym, not being native speaker and all that. Sure as hell my original meaning was more…erm…in your face on memey social media xD
That’s nuts
Found the Democrat
Should I be offended? I’m Australian
I mean, technically yes but not as much as if you were 'murican republican. I apologize for the unintended offense.
That’s okay we don’t get offended like murcans
but what about a man-child?
Wouldn’t matter if it was a woman-child
“Would you be willing to choose me, a man you don’t even know, over your own children? I don’t even know why I have to use these sites, I’m literally the most amazing man on the face of the planet. It’s a disgrace I even debase myself by using this. Did I mention I’m the most modest person in the world as well?”
It’s not real, bro. The bad man can’t hurt you
I hope it’s not real.
No thanks. I prefer aaaallll the money and time to wifey and myself. We enjoy our hobbies, travel the world, do what we want the whole day long, every day. That’s freedom.
Why would we want kids? And even if, we weren’t rich enough to put kids into this dumpster-fire…
Yep I’m selfish with my time. I like doing anything I want. I just won’t have a care taker when I’m old (but I also am not an ass that would want a child to do that anyway, seems evil)
I’ll gladly donate money to help out the unhoused, and Foss projects though! Because with no kids you have money to donate to things like that.
Yup exactly. All that money (and time, good lord the time!) sunk into lil brats could well be spend elsewhere. FOSS indeed! We also donate a lot and work for free at homeless shelters and such.
But most people prefer to keep running away from thinking by allocating 101% of time to everything but themselves. Jobs, kids, pets…
And this caretaker-for-when-i-am-old…it’s not only disgusting but also too risky. And with all that money sunk into those kids I could buy people who’d take care of me.
Yep. People are too afraid to state the truths you just said for fear of being rediculed.
Not sure why people can “hate” dogs and its considered fine, but we aren’t allowed to dislike human children or youll get persecuted.
Big reason I hate family gatherings. Most people can’t think beyond their immediate situation (and by extension, create “cute” babies they can treat like dolls for 4 years while giving 0 thought to the fact that now its another person in the world that will die to climate change or work in a factory forever and never own a house)
Exactly. I guess it’s because procreation is our only biological reason. And if you don’t play along you’d look like a worker-bee that doesn’t work (in every layer of that word).
I hear you about family, but I just broke with every idiot. My opinion (because it deviates too much from what is allowed in “free speech”) was always belittled, but if they need money, they all know where to find me. Well…knew 😁
Yup, couldn’t have said it more cynical. Kids are shat in this world my parent’s gen (boomer) already paved the way for destruction, that my gen followed nicely. Millenials had it really shitty and I don’t wann see the future of the newest generations.
It always gets me thinking that we need 2k in cost and many many hours of training and learning to be allowed to drive a car. But every Joe and Jane can procreate even if they’re dumb AND poor. No license needed. Just go ahead make as many cute babies as you want.
Yeah, there really should be required classes at least!!
Honestly it’s still way too easy to get a license. I know many folks who should not drive. They should all be forced to take a hpde course and also banned from installing Snapchat, ha
And tiktok…and fuckbook and x and y and however all the cancer is called. Where can I sign?
the most unhinged starter messages, as we.all expected something sexual or creepy. its worse 😭
Guy was about 20 years too late for Susan Smith.
Looks like Aaron earned an iron urn.
So how long have you lived in Baltimore?
