LOL that headline is such a good way to put it.

Imagine being told “No woman will want to date you so anyone that says they are is just a cat fish.”

Reminds me of that scene from X-2 when Mystique injects the stupid guard with iron pellets to help Magneto escape.

“Never trust a beautiful woman, especially one who’s interested in you.”

Unfortunately, ICE doesn’t need women to be interested in them. They were caught on video making people blow them in port-a-potties in Minnesota in order to for their victims to save themselves from deportation.

(Tradwives are conservative women who dress like the women in The Sound of Music, but without the opposition to the Anschluss.)

Can we just appreciate this sentence for a moment.

FBI trying to keep all the bitches to themselves.

And by bitches, I mean female dogs.

What a timeline.

Translation: You’re such unbelievable pieces of shit, if someone wants to date you, it’s a trap.

FBI trying to 100% the ICE incels speedrun.

Now we know why they allowed animal abusers to join. You don’t have to worry about being ratted out if your lover is a literal rat. You don’t have to worry if your lover is a metaphorical snake if it’s a literal one. You don’t have to worry about being hounded for information if your lover is a literal hound.

Being an ICE agent has to be the coolest thing going for these guys.

Not being able to score MAGA poon on FarmersOnly must be disappointing.

“Hey there, sexy. I noticed you abuse brown people. Wanna fuck?”

FBI: Don’t trust any woman who is willing to date an Ice agent. They may be trying to gain information.

Everyone else: Don’t trust any woman who is willing to date an Ice agent. They have bad decision making skills

When you have to hide on the job because you are scared, everyone hates what you do, loathes what you stand for, and the FBI tells you that finding love will be difficult and not to trust it:

But can they still can trust the men wanting to date them?

Sounds like good advice for everyone