It’s not a childhood trauma thing. I had a decent upbringing. I’ve been like this all my life. I’ll talk about people using their name to others when the named person isn’t around, but I avoid using their name as a vocative to their face.
Same thing with people using my name. I don’t mind people summoning me by calling my name, but I cringe when people use my name as a vocative in front of me. I also get irritated when people I don’t know and have no intention of establishing a relationship with use my name.
I worked in a call center and we had the usual opening “thank you for calling _____ my name is early_riser, how can I help you?” I assumed the unspoken rule was that I’m giving my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints or commendations, not because I want to establish anything more than a client-employee relationship. Also, I always use “sir” or “ma’am” when addressing clients, and hope they reciprocate that respect.
Edit:
Yes I know what names are for. Also “angry” was too strong a word. I don’t lash out at people when they do this. I understand that people are trying to be friendly when they use my name and that the irritation is unwarranted, but it’s there and I want to know why.
Spamming my name in conversation is a whole other thing. It feels like they’re trying to sell me something, or otherwise persuade or convince by faking a level of trust they haven’t earned.
YES ABSOLUTELY. It squicks me out so much. I used to work in a call center and I was very friendly but definitely all business—with what I was doing, the reasons for calls are very cut-and-dry. When I would pick up the phone and greet someone and they’d go off with:
“Good morning, Rai. How are you doing today?”
“…great”
“That’s good to hear, Rai. Rai, can I ask…”
I instantly am in a nightmare world and want to delete them from my life.
It gives me the big cringe lol
It’s less painful having a conversation with ChatGPT than a person like that, istg hahaha
This 100%
Yes! It’s akin to someone touching me unbidden. It’s gross and it feels gross to use people’s names around them. I almost never call my partner by their name to address them and any time they do it to me I absolutely hate it.
Oh my godddd, that’s exactly what it feels like! It’s the verbal equivalent of a stranger placing their hand on the small of your back and refusing to leave.
They’re usually just trying to remember your name so they repeat it a few times in the first few conversations and whenever they forget.
I used to feel like you to some extent and I realised that it takes me a long time to remember people’s names, and part of why I hated hearing my name is because it reminded me that I might not know the other person’s name and they might be upset that I don’t remember it like they remember mine. That was my “trauma” that made me hate hearing my name in conversation.
100%, I’m terrible at remembering peoples names so I force myself to say it a few times after meeting someone new, really helps it stick.