It’s not a childhood trauma thing. I had a decent upbringing. I’ve been like this all my life. I’ll talk about people using their name to others when the named person isn’t around, but I avoid using their name as a vocative to their face.
Same thing with people using my name. I don’t mind people summoning me by calling my name, but I cringe when people use my name as a vocative in front of me. I also get irritated when people I don’t know and have no intention of establishing a relationship with use my name.
I worked in a call center and we had the usual opening “thank you for calling _____ my name is early_riser, how can I help you?” I assumed the unspoken rule was that I’m giving my name so the client can later refer to me in complaints or commendations, not because I want to establish anything more than a client-employee relationship. Also, I always use “sir” or “ma’am” when addressing clients, and hope they reciprocate that respect.
Edit:
Yes I know what names are for. Also “angry” was too strong a word. I don’t lash out at people when they do this. I understand that people are trying to be friendly when they use my name and that the irritation is unwarranted, but it’s there and I want to know why.
They’re usually just trying to remember your name so they repeat it a few times in the first few conversations and whenever they forget.
I used to feel like you to some extent and I realised that it takes me a long time to remember people’s names, and part of why I hated hearing my name is because it reminded me that I might not know the other person’s name and they might be upset that I don’t remember it like they remember mine. That was my “trauma” that made me hate hearing my name in conversation.
100%, I’m terrible at remembering peoples names so I force myself to say it a few times after meeting someone new, really helps it stick.