Big Baby Thor

The first in a range of devices in Bill Gates private museum specifically designed to operate the permanently installed gonad stimulator built into his body.

The latest one is a keychain.

*knocks down your door*

WHERE’S THIS FUCKING SPRING I KEEP HEARING ABOUT?! I look at the calendar, I look outside and all I see is AUTUMN II: THE FUCKING SEQUEL!!!

-and then inevitably writing a book about it and going to speak public about it at the local prison.

“I was once like you… but then I FOUND THE LORDS PRAYER in my heart. Low and behold, I shortly found cheques for speaking fees in my mailbox. Hallelujah!”

and he just can’t hide it~

The monkeys paw curled. Elated UnderpantsWeevil was, as he skipped off into the sunset looking forward to the future.

1000 years later.

UnderpantsWeevil sat alone, in a dark metal box, suspended over lava, hanging by a long massive chain, circa 30km underground. How so?

He had been observed by various nation state actors over time, some who tried to kill him - many times, without success.

Everything was painstakingly documented by increasingly maddened agents, who poured over the various failed scenarios in utter amazement.

Run over by a truck? 7 times attempted. Gased to death in his bead? 4 attempts. Fatal stabbing? Proven not effective. “Accidental beheading”? 12 near misses.

in total 73 supposedly fatal wounds to the body, according to the medical sciences, all of which failed. No one could bring an end to UnderpantsWeevil.

After many captures (and several escapes) he finally landed in the hands of a North American despot known as Julius Trump the 4th - a supposed heir to the great emperor god.

This mad god king in a fallout empire decided to create a secret super-prison - because no one should be able to outlast the god king himself.

UnderpantsWeevil sat completely still in this oxygen depleted place, not a muscle stirring. Only the thought that it had been a scant 1000 years…

Good night, everybody!

The humanist philosopher Arne Ness said it best: “there is no freedom without responsibility, in fact the two are intrinsically the same”.

Americans can learn a lot from this.

I bet he’s gonna teleport away some funds.

Also, now in soup version - from the Gag Me With a Spoon collection.

The Germophiles came en masse to correct the translation. I guess they were “suchen dich”, op.

So, basically, the fediverse.

Now if he just hadn’t invaded Iran…

How them midterms looking?

Wanna feel old?

Cash me ouside, how bout dat?

The DOOM engine is simply so glorious that it rejected the OS entirely. It’s more AI than AI.

Never care for what they say

But they’re owned by the far right.

Is this some American joke I’m too Norwegian to get? Yes, because our police don’t escalate, they don’t serve as some political tool to harass people for political gains, but they are highly qualified since you only make it to police school if you have high marks in most subjects…

In the US, you could be ruled out of a position as sheriff if you score too high on a damn IQ test.

See a pattern here, yanks? The more intelligent, the higher their chances are of being stable and capable of having empathy.

But then again, you do live in a country where the police used an attack helicopter to bomb a housing complex…

So maybe try community policing for a while?

“How about no police”

Yes, yes, and no laws, right? And no military… surely all these things are great ideas.

Even after death she has to suffer your infernal playlist for all eternity.

I’m the second part of this statement and I don’t like it.

…“nuss” is Norwegian for “titty”.

I don’t know what you’re supposed to do with that information, but there you are.

DO swear at me.