Luigi is sick. I know this because they postponed a court date. But that doesn’t matter because he was with me!

“GET OUT OF THE BIKE LANE!” - cyclists

14 beers would make me pee a lot

What are the three songs?

Yeah, told her I can’t make it tomorrow since I’m traveling but will see her next week

It’d be something if instead of flushing the toilet, an oyster could filter all that

That’s news to me

Wut? I thought we were talking about sexy spiders

I’m not against sexier spiders, but I’m a leftist and not a liberal

I’m most beautiful when you can’t see me

Asking for a friend, where to buy this product?

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I tried looking it up, but all I found were women’s sex machines.

Mullvad has all these billboard advertisements in my city currently. Anyone else see them?

Panhandle to raise the funds

I wonder if there’s a video of a man using this device without wearing the unitard.

I see titties, but whats going on below? a dick pounding?

when I was a kid, people would give out pennies when they ran out of candy