dustycups

Go for the trifecta!

Or the typewriter?

In theory yes. In practice:

The Bastard Operator From Hell…

I choose to believe that she was prescient - or that it was a curse.

…through grey goo

That’s not a euphemism - I really am going to eat these actual tacos. You in or what?

Is that you Pepe Silvio?
Edit:

In the beginning the Universe was created. This had made a lot of people very angry and been widely regarded as a bad move.

Douglas Adams

Malcolm Turnbull vibes:

The laws of mathematics are very commendable, but the only law that applies in Australia is the law of Australia.

Best I can do is piss myself.

I refuse to eat my scrambled eggs from a man pocket.
Oh, a comma. Sorry about that.

Stop dropping your phone on the fucking train

Every morning I clock into work, and 12 hours later I clock out covered in jizz because someone dropped their phone while looking at porn and turned the whole trip into a goddamn gangbang. I can’t take it anymore. I’m literally knee deep in spunk by the end of the day, because all you motherfuckers are apparently lubing up your hands and can’t get a grip. We’ve all had to start wearing blindfolds when we exit the front so we don’t accidentally get a peak and start furiously cranking our cocks to “thugposts” or “femboys” or whatever the newest horny fad is.

For the love of god, stop dropping your phone on the fucking train.