I close my front door when I get home, rest my head against it, and whisper, “Thank fuck for that”.

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The US and Russia have vetoed this post.

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She’s a bitch.

Bleached kidney stones on your ice cream?

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That’s her penis. As you can see, she’s uncircumcised.

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Looking at Gaetz, it seems he’s one of the early results.

Fly carefully! The nukes come from there! Seen it in movies! Farmer diligently bailing his hay and suddenly a nuke flies out of the ground behind him, the poor bastard!

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Leave me alone, Jake Paul!

She only calls it Zuul when it’s not trimmed.

Yes, but not everyone wants to wipe leaves on their anus in front of others.

Thank you for subscribing to Bean Facts! You will now receive fun daily facts about Beans! Beans are tough! Scientists have successfully germinated a 10,000-year-old bean found in the Arctic! (To cancel Bean Facts, reply <cancel>)

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Crows have been seen flipping them onto their back and pecking their guts out.

Careful. David Icke is gonna say that’s evidence of giant Nephilim in ancient times.