🎶 Didn’t think I could live without you by my side 🎶

Is that right? Did I get the lyrics right? Haven’t heard that song in years and never consciously committed the song to memory.

How many nickels would you have if you had a nickel for every child you knew who almost got disowned for not becoming a doctor while their parents were doctors and already forced all their older siblings to become doctors as well?

Damnit, this meme knows how my mind works and now that my delusions have been consciously presented to me, perhaps I should fix myself.

“Oops, all preservatives.”

I think mass-produced factory loaves of bread also should include this on their labels because have you noticed the past couple decades that bread never gets moldy anymore, regardless how long it’s neglected in its plastic packaging?

That whale has million dollar pearl lips

Okay well maybe you should count me in with the autistics because what I see in that post is a filthy windshield and driver can’t see the road with the sun in their eyes and he’s also taking a picture while driving. Major threat to road safety.

But first he should surrender his driver’s license after revealing he’s a careless threat to his road safety & others’.

That’s informative & interesting, but there’s nothing bad about it at all.

If they promise zero interest, why do they end up charging interest?

So what was the outcome? Did you get all the diseases?

Ah yes, that was from a recent Jon Stewart monologue wasn’t it?

Printed out all her pre-deleted u/MaxwellHill reddit history

I hope the prankster typed all that out with his thumbs. No copy paste allowed.

Am from the world. God bless my overlord cloudflare who I never knew existed before today, upon whom all my livelihood & functionality depends. Regardless of how much abuse & neglect cloudflare may impose upon me, I dare not speak any ill of cloudflare, delicately cautious not to upset its fragile temper.

Okay but are those knees really brown? They look kinda pink to me.

Cicadas do nothing but shreik unholy shrill screams until someone else of their species decides to have sex with them, so why don’t we give that a try?

Being a parent is maddening. You think you’d do better with your own children until you experience the 24/7/365 stress that children inherently bring upon their parents. Few people escape childhood undamaged. Life has never been easy or perfect for anyone.

I guess there’s nothing left to comment. It’s all been said.

Because in preparation for the eclipse, people were searching for ways to prevent hurting their eyes.

So you were standing there all uncomfortably in the kitchen while you typed that out with your thumbs? You did send a good message though. Everything you said is pretty true except I don’t think most people would want to store their phone in their cabinet. Our phones are not only addictive, but if we can get past that addiction they still come in handy and they are essential to daily life.