Let’s change that.

He’s really not going to like “Eat The Rich.”

If this is real, that prof is got some splainin to do.

MAGAs are cowards at their core, afraid of EVERYTHING, and they always vote for a tough guy to protect them. He doesn’t really have to be a tough guy, they can be weak-ass loser like Bush or Trump, but the MAGAs are such simpering cowards that they think that’s what a tough guy looks and sounds like.

Meanwhile, EVERYBODY else knows he would go down hard with the first punch, tuck into the fetal position and cry. When he goes down, kick him in the ass real hard. Make him blurt out a pathetic painful yelp.

I lost 100 pounds, and I’m still dropping, without any drugs. My strategy:

• Stop all soft drinks. Ice water, mostly, occasionally a Waterloo Peach, 0 calories/sugar. I will sometimes have a beer for dinner.

• Eat whatever you want, but only when hungry, and only until not hungry. Serve small portions or half a sandwich. If you find yourself staring into the fridge, wondering what looks good, you aren’t hungry, you’re bored. Go do something else.

• Distract yourself. My Dad quit smoking in the 80s with a Rubik’s Cube, picking it up whenever he had a craving. I did it with the guitar. Every time I had a craving, I picked up the guitar.

Just those three easy rules, and I lost 100+ pounds, and learned to play the guitar at the same time. You could lift weights, learn a language, write a book, go running, knit, or anything else.

The proper phrase is " Take a flying fuck at a rolling donut."

Just saying.

Only two photoreceptors on their head, facing the same direction so they can only see the same thing? What’s that point of that?

• Horseshoe Crab Social Media.

The picture would be more accurate if she was firing the baby out of her hooha like ping pong balls at a Thai sex show.

I have an unknown eating disorder, in which it seems impossible to eat anything without dripping it on my shirt. I suspect a lot of others have this disorder as well. It’s a secret American tragedy, hidden in shame.

I actually keep a hand towel in my car (I’ve got dozens of them for my job) and I take it in when I’m eating at Chipotle or something. It embarrasses the shit out of my son, but I always point out that I’d rather look dumb for an hour in a restaurant, than have to look stupid everywhere I go, because I’m wearing my lunch on my shirt.

When we finish, I always show him my “bib,” so I can demonstrate all the drips that would have been on my shirt. He thinks I’m pathetic, but that’s normal.

Fish and Chips is one of the great culinary masterpieces, and so perfectly, elegantly simple, like Italian Red Sauce. I’ll give the Brits full credit on that one.

Beans are a staple side dish of BBQ, one of my very favorite foods, and it is often served with white bread, so we understand what it is. There’s just no reason to put the two together.

Besides, I know that with that first bite, a generous glob of beans is going to drool down the front of my shirt, and piss me off.

Yeah it’s the bread and pasta combo that’s gross, not the Spaghetti-Os, or that horrifying “sauce.”

We Americans have to put up with a lot of justifiable criticism about a lot of American things, but my English dudes, THIS? Even Americans know better.

NO! It’s not just baked beans from a can, you heathen!

It’s on toast.

Giggity

That is something up with which I will not put.

It ain’t the heat, it’s the humidity.

Handy

So…vexxing?

Send this list to Trump. His vocabulary is about 200 words.