I juggled today, by the freeway. Made eight bucks. That’s not important. I thought it was an important metric in which to judge my capabilities as a performance artist, but no. How well you can field a question/interaction you do not expect is at the top of that list. You will never know everything that another person will think of, nor can you plan past the second question in a lotta cases even if you could.

I did this shit in my hometown of Syracuse. The joke is I went around asking random strangers what their opinion of ethical incest was while wearing a women’s coat, and holding a cute purse and my pink penguin plushie named Peppermint. Well, I did, but I also did the same joke with bestiality, talking about telepathy with that one, obviously. That sort of shit gets three cop cars whipping up on you that you can talk your way out of 💯% of the time saying you’re a performance artist while also having autism (learn to juggle).

But I did this other shit before that. Same gig; walk up to a random stranger and ask a strange question. Some examples:

“What’s your opinion of the Illuminati?”

“Do you know how to raise Cthulhu?”

“Do you want to learn a magick spell?”

Each of these I would find have about an 80% normative reply rate, meaning the vast majority of people can be predicted ahead of time with a well-developed flowchart of a conversation that you naturally learn trying this (I did canvassing for an environmental profit before the cult ish happened). In regards to the magick trick, have a stick, and when they say yes, tell them it’s a forgetting spell and tap your head and say you forgot it. Gets laughs AND weirds people out.

And with all thing, there’s the outliers, where 75% of the remainder can still be predicted to some capacity. The other, rare people? They are the cool ones that will talk your ear off because they’re the ones that think this stuff but don’t ever get to talk about weirdology with anyone.

This is a dating strategy, by the way, if you haven’t pieced that together.

My top life skills:

3. Juggling

4. Righting

5. Infinite pussy

How did I do it? Easy: I made myself a good person. It is not possible without achieving that. Part of the reason that Eve first gets Knowledge to give it to Adam is because women have better communication and language skills and become privy to certain Knowledge and wisdom earlier than the boys, typically. Statistically.

This means that short term dating strategies like lying are the most effective at guaranteeing you lock a number of doors and burn a great number of bridges you don’t even know exist because you’re off in your own fucking retarded reality like everyone is who has not taken up the quest to perceive and undo the karmic fetters that bind them to the existence-illusion complex enough to know what tf that dense enlighted verbiage even means.

But, no, really. Uh, what do I say here? The sexiest thing to a woman, which is the thing girls hopefully grow up to be? If a guy is/would be a good father. Bar none. Fuck this alpha male retardation. If you play a good game, congratulations, you played yourself, because while you’re counting your Monopoly money and flipping tiddly winks, the rest of us got up from the kids’ table and went full sigma to be what we are, whatever that is, and do it well AND good enough that everything just works.

I’ve been nowhere. It was in Miami Beach, shortly before the FBI v& me to take me to the hospital and acquire a phone I was given “for my mission” the night before. I was just on the sidewalk. I was fine. Not happy. Not sad. Content. I was content with nothing. And that is when I realized there’s a level beyond jedi: emptiness, as the Buddha called it.

Return 0 =/= Return null

And while there is anxiety about juggling at the university and totally, uh, well I’ll have an effect, being pious, which will be nerve-wracking with the Knowledge I have, temptation being what it is. But I am not afraid like I used to be, terrified of other people, and I’m not afraid anymore because the spiritual work I did. It would be impossible to explain to my past self what this truly means. You would have to experience it to Know it.

But, I can fly, and yous gunna hear about me one way or the other, cuz I only know how to magick, what, 250k views on my profile per day through skillful trolling? I should be able to get a crowd half that size while busking, and even if only 50% of people give a hundred dollars, being real conservative here cuz I’m bad at head arithmetic, that should pay my rent, food, and weed bill for May.