• musubibreakfast@lemmy.world
    link
    fedilink
    arrow-up
    8
    ·
    edit-2
    2 days ago
    1. ケチャップをよこせ!
    2. ケチャップをくれよ!
    3. ケチャップを、今すぐ!
    4. ケチャップがどうしても必要だ!
    5. ケチャップをくれ、さもないと殺すぞ!
    6. ケチャップ野郎は誰だ?ケチャップを持ってこい!
    7. ケチャップが出るまであと3秒。その後、クソ野郎どもを殺し始めるぞ!
    8. お前は私のケチャップ奴隷だ。今すぐケチャップをくれ、さもないとお前の家族を殺すぞ。お願いします。

    Using 私 in example 8 instead of オレ様 might look like a mistake but you have to understand that this is formal Japanese. In these sorts of situations everyone is armed to the teeth and one wrong word can lead to a massacre.

    One time while attending a nomikai I drank before my senior and was beaten within an inch of my life. As they were about to finish me off with a rocket launcher my senpai swallowed a grenade on my behalf, excused himself and blew up outside the izakaya, this was fortunately enough for the senior to spare my life.

    I am forever indebted to Suzuki-san for his noble sacrifice. Please use the above phrases well and you might survive and even thrive in Japan.

    I’m writing this message from my hospital bed where I am waiting to have 50 chopsticks removed from my rectum (unrelated incident). Thank you again, Suzuki-san. I know you are watching over me from above in heaven.

    • tigeruppercut@lemmy.zip
      link
      fedilink
      arrow-up
      5
      ·
      2 days ago

      One of my favorite random Japanese language coincidences is that one meaning of “yo” is the same in English and Japanese.

      Let’s go, yo!
      Ikou, yo!